This is the one big thing I think that sets us apart as humans. Our ability to make mistakes. And not only that, but also our ability to either learn from them…or repeat them.
I am hopeful that my life will not be one of repeats.
I made a very large mistake 3 days into the new year, 2014. One that I am very ashamed of myself for. But nonetheless, it happened. I crashed my car. The car I’d had for almost 6 years. The car I got into a similar accident in just at the end of July. So not even a full six months ago. The car I got just before Emma came home with me from the hospital. A very reliable, in-great-condition-for-its-age car. A car my grandmother bought for me. I never had to make a single payment on it. I paid for its repairs and maintenance,gas and insurance. Which I am exceedingly grateful for now, by the way. Insurance is what saved me in the long run, here. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I had to look at myself more closely upon making this mistake. Let me clarify something here. I was reading a text message when I got into the accident. I looked up, cars were stopped and I was too close already to stop in time. I could have stopped quicker had I been paying full attention to my driving. Hence, my sense of shame. I know I did wrong. I know I messed up. And I never tried to justify myself. But I also realized in that moment, that a “sorry” doesn’t do much. Mistakes require penance. Punishment. And it must fit the crime.
I did get my punishment. In the form of needing to look for another car. In the form of a citation from the police. I will have to pay to take a class to get said citation stricken from my license. But will I learn my lesson? Will I stop doing what I was doing? Will I turn my life around and go the other way?
That is what we must learn from our mistakes. Because to keep doing what we’ve always done before, and keep on making those same mistakes: That’s the definition of insanity right there. And from that perspective, it does seem pretty insane.
I need to stop making the same mistakes. I need to turn my life around and go in the other direction. I need to learn my lesson. Finally after all this time…. God smacked me in the face with that one. I can’t really deny it …not when it’s made that clear. That accident was a wake up call to me in more than one way. And I am grateful for a lot of things. For one, I’m grateful Emma wasn’t with me when I got in the accident. I’m also grateful it wasn’t a lot worse and that no one was injured. But I’m also grateful for the lessons I’ve learned through it.. God always has a plan. And He will take any situation and turn it around for good, if we let Him.
He gave me a second chance, too. Which also so clearly illustrated to me how he feels towards me… I found a car, almost identical to the one I crashed. For only $500 more than what the insurance company gave me for the totaling of my old one. And it’s in better condition than my old one was even. My dad helped me with the difference in cost.. Which was so awesome of him. There are no words to express my gratitude there.
God is the God of second chances. And He is ever faithful. Unwavering. Steadfast, loyal, trustworthy and True. My God shall supply all my needs. He always has, and I believe He always will.