Worrying is a rocking chair…

It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.

Seriously… reading back through my “time goes by” entry…. I just have to shake my head at myself. What is worrying about how Emma will be doing in 15 yrs doing for me right now?? LOL a whole lotta nothing! But taking up time that could be spent on much more valuable, worthy things… 🙂

I’ve gotta stop worrying, and start trusting. Him. more. 😉 😛

I’ve been reading C.S. Lewis a lot lately. I got the book “The Problem of Pain” for Mother’s Day, and it is a very good read… so chock full of truth, it just inspires me and makes me want to shout from the rooftops “SEE! THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” C.S. Lewis says exactly what I want to say, but can’t figure out the words, or tone. And he is so casual about it…and so humble! I could never in my life hope to be him….

However, I am me. and God created me. and He created me to be me. and to learn a thing or two from other people who aren’t me. but whom I should try to be more like.

See, I believe that while God did give us our uniqueness and personalities for a reason, He also did not create us to be unchangeable. God made us moldable. We are clay in His hands, and I don’t believe we should ever use the excuse “but that’s just the way I am, deal with it” because we are born fallen, and so of course we are not who God created us to be. But He can change our hearts and our lives …if we let Him.

that’s the key. if we let Him. we are FREE to choose. and THAT is the Love of God. that He gave us a choice, to choose Him, or choose our own way.

Now, being one who has chosen her own way, time and time and time again… you should take a lesson from my life. it doesn’t work. God’s way is the only way. and i am living proof.

All this is really coming from the book I am now reading, called “Mere Christianity”, also by Mr. Lewis. And while I have been reading this, every time I come to a point I have made before (but he makes SO much better, and in such a better way) I get all puffed up with pride. I had to stop myself after doing this a couple times, and think. What in the world makes me feel so special? That i’ve come to these very same conclusions on my own, and no one will listen to ME, but others have been listening to and finding Christ through C.S. Lewis’ works for decades… what makes me so prideful? “I told ya’ll but you didn’t wanna listen” comes to mind…lol

I had to stop myself and think because I had to realize, maybe the way I have presented it is the reason others haven’t listened to me, but maybe would listen to C.S. Lewis. Or maybe they wouldn’t be inclined to listen to him either. What is reality is that people are people, and sometimes they don’t listen. Ever. Maybe the people I have in mind to read these books… and maybe just maybe come to different conclusions than they have come to before…maybe even they won’t listen to C.S. Lewis. 😦 God has given them a choice, and a free will, and they can use it however they see fit.

It makes my heart ache for them to see what i have seen.. but i know the reason i have seen the truth is because God has opened my eyes to it. and even still i struggle… daily. to do His work. to love people. to see them through his eyes. to show them the way to Him. to show them Jesus in me. my actions, my words, my love.

and yet, He still calls me His Beloved. Unfathomable…

And if God could be fathomed, would He be God at all?


About Shannon

My life is summed up in two words: Saving Grace. God saw fit to bless me with a little girl who, for all intents and purposes, turned out to be my saving grace. She is the best part of my life, and the best part of me. I am a single working mother (I know, that phrase is redundant :) so I don't have a lot of time for extracurricular activities, but I like to write, and so I thought I'd start another blog (I've had many in the past) so that I could have an outlet for myself, during my down time ...whenever that can be snatched. It's few and far between these days.... but we'll see where this takes me.
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