I think its amazing how motherhood works.
For instance, I had this thought the other day…
Ever since I became a mother- actually, ever since I was pregnant with Emma (and after I gave birth it just got worse), I have been slowly losing my mind.
Now, at first this does not sound like a gift. But wait…it gets better 😉
When I say this, I mean it in both a good and a bad way. I think a lot of things in this life can be both a blessing and a curse. There’s a flip side to most things in life…. And one of them is this:
The gift of forgetfulness.
I forget EVERYTHING now that I am Emma’s mother.
My car keys.
My apartment keys.
My cell phone.
Where I put all these things, or just to bring them with me when I walk out the door.
I also forget what I’m saying mid-sentence a lot more often than I ever used to!
I forget that I left my dinner sitting in the microwave well after it’s done cooking…
I forget to take a bath or shower for days at a time (ewww, i know, right?!)
Sometime I will even forget to eat (tho I have been known to eat whenever I remember, even if its one or two in the morning!)…
I even forget to GO to bed! lol I have been having a problem with this lately…seeing as I have so much to do and remember, its keeping me up til all hours of the night getting it done… and then I look up and its one or two in the morning! 😛
I seriously forget EVERYTHING nowadays… and I attribute it ALL to that grand calling, Motherhood. 🙂
Then, why am I smiling?
Because, everything has a flip side, remember?
Even though it drives me NUTS that I can’t remember SHIT anymore! (and yes, I had to use that word!) ….it is a blessing in disguise.
I forget why I’m mad at Emma when I see her beautiful eyes shining with tears, or just the other day, she MADE me forget why I was mad at her when she put up the hood on her jacket and made a silly face at me, JUST to make me laugh at her! 🙂
I forget what makes me upset with Lou because I can’t remember the argument we had just two minutes ago, and resolve to just let it go and figure it out as we go along… 🙂
I forget why I ever felt the need to drink alcohol til I was basically half-comatose ….because now I have this wonderful little girl to share my Life with, and why would I want to miss a single second of it because I’m too hung over from the night before to even open my eyelids the next morning?
I forget why I dislike my mom at times, because even though we don’t always get along, or see eye to eye, she is a wonderful grandmother to Emma and loves her with all her heart 🙂
I see the good in people, I see past the hurt they cause, or the anger they stir up in me, when I try to see them through my daughter’s eyes….and through God’s eyes.
And if God is the author of all things Good, then I would say he is the One to give me the gift of forgetfulness.
For as the Bible states, He has cast our sins into the depths of the sea and remembers them no more.
Micah 7:19 He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.